Ask Gracelyn: How to keep romance alive after many years together?

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    Dear Gracelyn: How can we keep romance alive after many years together?

    Wendy G. – Toronto

    Hi Wendy,

    Sustaining romantic connection requires reimagining love as an active, creative practice rather than a static state.

    Long-term relationships thrive through continuous curiosity, intentional appreciation, and a commitment to mutual growth. Romance emerges not from grand gestures but from consistent, subtle expressions of appreciation, vulnerability, and shared wonder.

    Cultivate practices that continuously rediscover each other—create shared adventures, maintain individual growth, and approach your partnership as an ever-evolving collaborative journey of emotional and personal exploration.

    Keeping romance alive in a long-term relationship takes intentional effort, but it’s definitely possible!

    Here are some effective approaches:

    1. Prioritize quality time together without distractions – put phones away and be fully present.
    2. Maintain physical affection, including non-sexual touch like hugs, hand-holding, and casual caresses.
    3. Keep dating each other. Plan regular date nights – they don’t need to be elaborate, just dedicated time to connect.
    4. Express appreciation daily. Notice and verbalize what you love and admire about your partner.
    5. Surprise each other occasionally with thoughtful gestures that show you’re paying attention to their needs and desires.
    6. Try new experiences together to create fresh memories and prevent falling into routines.
    7. Maintain some mystery and independence. Having separate interests and friends keeps you interesting to each other.
    8. Practice good communication, especially about desires and needs that may change over time.

    The key is making your relationship a priority despite life’s demands. Small, consistent efforts often matter more than grand gestures. What aspects of keeping romance alive are you finding most challenging?

    Be Happy,

    Gracelyn

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